[SPOILERS FOR TED LASSO SEASON 3] [It's been out for a while, friends, this is not on me.]
One of the larger disagreements in the Ted Lasso universe is the way the writers dealt with the Nate-Ted arc, specifically the absolutely lack of kicking Nate in the gonards for being an insufferable, cruel a narcissist.
For context, Nate was a kitman for the football team—Richmond—in the show Ted Lasso. Ted, the radical-optimism ambassador of a coach, sees Nate for his football talent and bumps Nate up to coach. Nate proves to be one hell of an asset. He knows not just the game, but having been the team's kitman, knows the players' strengths and weaknesses in and out (this will prove to be deathly for the team starting S3). But as Ted brings in the now-retired, forever-beloved ex-captain of the team onto the coaching team, Nate starts getting jealous and all the insecurity that had kept him from speaking up against anything and anyone (especially his dad [nobody is ever surprised by the appearance of daddy issues in an angry man]) before Ted found him, grows bitter. His bitterness only builds and builds and builds till he ends up outing to the press that Ted has mental health issues. He then leaves Richmond to become the head coach for the most hated opposing team in the show, where he combines his incredible football strategy genius with the exploitation of everything he's ever known about Richmond's players to create a dangerous opposing team. He is also unkind at press interviews about Ted. Even his hair goes white to signal his villain era.
The Richmond team is out for blood, everybody who loved him now hates Nate the Great. All, except for the man most wounded by Nate—Ted.
Ted meets Nate's aggression with kindness, and his bitterness with compassion. Every time Nate behaved in a way that costed Richmond and Ted something they value, Ted appreciated Nate's brilliance or left the provocation unanswered. Worst of all, when Nate worked on himself and healed through finding love, Ted did the unimaginable. Ted simply forgave Nate. Without pomp, splendour or spectacle. He just... forgave him. I wanted to throw something at the TV.
He also encouraged others to forgive him. The showrunners had spent an entire season building up Nate's villain era, and Nate's redemption arc was given an episode's airtime. Nate rejoined Richmond in a span of ONE episode.
There are very very justifiable criticisms to this decision. From a storytelling perspective, the non-justification, the absence of turmoil felt very sudden.
But isn't that what redemption really is? If you're a Ted Lasso fan, and by that I mean, anyone cautiously enchanted by radical optimism, isn't that the whole point? Redemption IS sudden. It arrives without announcement. Forgiveness is quietly handed to the one who hurt you (even if that's you to yourself) over breakfast. Hurrah, you're redeemed. Like a coupon. I know it feels like redemption being so easy should be illegal. But what if we're simply struggling with the friction of peace, the stillness redemption promises so easily because what we're most familiar with is strife and hypervigilance?
Redemption doesn't necessarily mean reconciliation, but redemption is like realising you're the one holding your breath and complaining that you can't breathe.
"I forgive you for being hurt and therefore hurting me." "I forgive me for being hurt and therefore hurting myself." What a breath of air that is.
To a person like Ted—who not just chooses to see the possibility of good everywhere, but also sees that people are people are people (and people are all that we have)—forgiveness of others is like an exhalation. Therefore, it makes complete sense to me that the show demonstrates how devoid of announcement redemption is.
I wonder if radical optimism for me begins with forgiving myself for all that I hold against me. For all my failings, for all the suffering I knowingly or unknowingly inflicted on those around me (for hurt people, hurt people), for the places that hurt within me, for the daddy issues and mommy issues, for issues that have no tissues. Can the solution be to just.. exhale? What if I forgive the Nate in me without spectacle? What if I just.. believe?